When Glass Shatters Read online

  WHEN

  GLASS

  SHATTERS

  J.P. Grider

  Fated Hearts Publishing

  When Glass Shatters

  Published by

  Fated Hearts Publishing

  Jefferson Township, New Jersey 07438

  COVER DESIGN by MURPHY RAE

  This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to any person, place, or thing is purely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  Copyright ©2016

  Julianne Pellegrino Grider

  To Noah and Carter…Mimi loves you

  CHAPTER ONE

  Lorraine was home with the twelve-year-olds when the officer showed up at the door. “Your parents were killed in a car crash on the interstate. They were pronounced dead on the scene.” Or something like that. Lorraine couldn’t remember if the news was actually presented so unsympathetically or not, but that was the gist. “Your parents are dead. Deal with it.”

  Her parents were dead.

  Dead!

  She didn’t know whether to scream. Or cry. Or scold the officer for involving himself in such a cruel prank. The battle to keep the contents in her stomach down pretty much signified he was telling the truth, but a hopeful heart and irrational brain were keeping her suspended in an erroneous reality. To get the three on the same page would be a test she was afraid to pass.

  And then came the challenge of telling her siblings that their parents had died, and they would never see them again. How could she do that? How would she find the words to tell the kids that their worlds were about to shatter?

  The officer spoke again. “We need you to come down to identify the bodies.”

  The bodies. The bodies? As in her parents’ dead bodies? No. No. No. No. No. She couldn’t do that. How could she do that? What kind of person could look at her own mother’s dead body? No. Just...no.

  But when she went to speak, all that came out was, “What would you like me to do with the kids?”—the only question out of the hundreds of questions racing through her mind that slipped out of her mouth.

  The officer shrugged. “Whatever you want, miss, just come in as soon as you find a sitter.” That was all. Business as usual. Was he really that callous to not see the devastation in front of him, or was Lorraine unable to process his empathy? Really? Just come in as soon as you find a sitter? Who would watch the kids? Did she really need someone to watch them? No. No, they were nearly thirteen years old. Lorraine was just not ready to go look at dead corpses of her mom and new stepfather. No. She wasn’t ready, but she agreed to come down anyway just to say something. Anything. At least she thought she’d said something, her brain wasn’t really registering what the heck her mouth was spewing.

  Where was her mother right now?

  Where was her mother to tell her what to believe?

  Where was her mother to tell her how to get through this?

  If this was all true, and not some haunting nightmare, how on earth was she going to live without her mother?

  How on earth was she going to live without her mother?

  How on earth—

  The pain in her chest, almost unbearable, brought her down, her butt hitting the bottom step of the staircase. Lorraine was eighteen, but her mother was always her rock. Her strength. Her guidance when Lorraine was clueless. The only person who made her life...right. The only one who could ever take away her pain.

  “Oh, Mom,” Lorraine recalled from a time not long ago. “What if I don’t graduate high school? I’m failing almost every class.”

  “You’re not going to fail out of school, Lorraine. I’m going to help you get through it.”

  “You must be so disappointed in me. A teacher whose daughter can’t even pull Cs in school.”

  Tatum brushed her daughter’s cheek with the back of her fingers. “You can never disappoint me, Rainy-Girl. You are the kindest, most considerate girl I know. You love with all your heart and have the most beautiful soul.”

  “But I’m stupid.”

  “You are not stupid, Lorraine Marie Mattina. You have a learning disability. That means you have trouble learning, it doesn’t mean you lack intelligence.”

  “I feel like I do.”

  “Well, you don’t.” Lorraine’s mother took her daughter in her arms and reassured her that she would not fail out of school. “Your teachers know how hard you try. They aren’t going to fail you.”

  “But I’m not going to get into college. I can’t even take the SATs, because I can’t sit still long enough.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with going to community college, Lorraine. You’ll just have to work doubly hard to get through it. But you can. I know you can.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Lorraine smiled on her mother’s shoulder. “You always make me feel better.”

  Who was going to make Lorraine feel better now?

  Lorraine put aside her self-pity in an effort to face her immediate reality. Her parents were dead. Her world was going to change dramatically.

  As she paced the parlor floor while figuring out how to go about identifying her parents’ dead bodies, she spotted the new picture above the fireplace—Noah in his wrestling get-up and his hand held high in the air by a referee. The reason he couldn’t come home for Christmas; it was wrestling season, or so he claimed. Lorraine knew he’d used that excuse just so he didn’t have to face his new family.

  Noah.

  Should she call him?

  He had a right to know; it was his father after all. But she’d never even had a conversation with him; she’d only met him once, and she was too busy playing Maid of Honor to her mother to worry about saying hello to Brick’s oldest son. He wasn’t the epitome of friendly and welcoming anyway when Brick did try to introduce him.

  “Noah. Noah, come here.” Brick called to his son to join them—Lorraine’s mom Tatum, Brick’s daughter Norah, and Lorraine, all celebrating the soon-to-be marriage of Brick and Tatum. A marriage that would take place the very next day.

  “Yeah?” Noah said when he sauntered over many moments later.

  “I want you to meet Tatum’s daughter Lorraine. She’s about your—”

  “Yeah. Right. Okay. Brick, Tatum. I’m gonna head on out now. Sofia and I are heading to the city. The dress-rehearsal was fun.” The end of his sentence was spoken over his shoulder, because he wasted no time in getting away from his father and his soon-to-be new family.

  “Don’t take it personally,” Norah whispered into Lorraine’s ear. “His problem is with my dad, not you.”

  “She’s right, Lorraine,” Brick agreed, overhearing his daughter’s explanation. “His problem has been with me for a while now. Don’t take it personally at all.” Brick smiled at his new wife. “I told your mother the same thing.” To all of them, Brick said, “Noah’s never gotten over his mother’s death. And he blames me. Though, I don’t know how Keri’s getting cancer was my fault. But to a fifteen year old boy, I guess anything is possible.”

  The wedding went on without Brick’s oldest child, because he’d decided last minute not to show up. But he wasn’t missed. Not by Lorraine, and by the genuine smiles on Brick and Tatum’s faces, certainly not by them either.

  After that wedding weekend, Lorraine recalled that her mother, accompanied by her new husband, took off for Aruba, and Noah headed back to Duke, while Lorraine spent the week at home with her brother Carter, her new stepsister Norah, and her maternal grandmother, whom she called Mimi.

  Mimi. That’s who she’d call
.

  With trembling hands and a heart beating so fast she thought it would explode, Lorraine dialed her grandmother’s number.

  “Lorraine, what’s going on?” her grandmother asked when she heard her granddaughter's shaky voice over the phone. “It’s late. Is everything all right?”

  “No, Mimi, it’s not.” She broke down. The next words, choking her as she spoke them, came out garbled.

  “Rainy, darling, calm down. I can’t understand what you're trying to say.”

  Lorraine coughed up the strangled words after several breaths. “Mom and Brick were killed in an accident.”

  Mimi’s response was not unexpected. “Oh my God.” It was breathy, her larynx untouched by the words.

  “Mimi. I have to go identify them.”

  When Lorraine's grandmother finally spoke, she told her she’d take the first flight out. “Hang tight, and don’t go until I get there.” Mimi lived in Florida; Lorraine would wait.

  In the meantime, Lorraine once again struggled with her next move. Does she go up to the kids’ rooms and tell them? It was closing in on midnight, maybe they were sleeping. Not likely; they were night owls—teenagers in the making. Still pacing the floor, Lorraine pulled out her cell and texted them to come down. She heard the door knobs from both bedroom doors click, and seconds later, four feet trampled down the staircase.

  “What’s up, Rainy?” Carter asked.

  Norah kept silent and stood on the bottom step.

  “Guys.” Lorraine didn't know where to go from there. Oh my God, she’d rather be pulling out her fingernails one by one. She hadn’t even had time to digest the news herself, how could she comfort them if she had no comfort to give yet?

  “What is it, Rainy?” Norah asked quietly, seeing her stepsister squirm. Norah was shy. The kind of shy that was painful. A prepubescent girl who answered a question in the form of a question. To the question, “How old are you, Norah?” “Twelve?” would be her response. Lorraine liked Norah, but she wished she’d show more self-confidence. Entering the teenage world, it was eat or be eaten, and Lorraine was afraid Norah would be eaten alive if she didn’t find some inner strength soon.

  “Um, this is, well—” Oh my God, she can’t do this. Lorraine was feeling dizzy, so she sat on the couch and put her head in her hands.

  “Rain?” her brother asked, sidling up next to her, his hand resting compassionately on her shoulder. “What?”

  No. No. Her head began to pound, the pressure of changing these kids’ lives too great. Someone help her through this. Someone. Help. Her brother’s hand squeezed her shoulder. In a minute, he’d need the comforting. In the background, she heard Norah shuffle over. Another young life she’d be devastating. How could life be so cruel? How could these kids lose both parents in their lifetime? Wasn’t it bad enough that they both lost a parent before they’d had a chance to even know them? Carter’s dad died before he was even born; Norah’s mother, when she was only eight. Now, at the most impressionable times of their lives, they had to lose their only remaining parent too? Oh my God, how would she tell them?

  “Okay, Rain, you’re scaring me. Tell us what’s going on?” Carter insisted, his hand lifting from his sister’s shoulder.

  She lifted her head from her hand and looked at Carter, then at Norah, who crinkled her brow. “You’re crying? Why are you crying?”

  Swallowing her apprehensions, she said, “Norah, do you have your brother’s phone number?”

  “Noah? Why? What happened to Noah?” Norah plopped down on the side of the couch where Carter wasn’t.

  Her hand now on Norah’s knee, Lorraine said, “No. No. Nothing’s happened to Noah. I just, well, he should hear this too.”

  “Oh my God,” Norah cried. “It’s my Dad?”

  Carter must have seen Lorraine’s expression, because he gasped.

  Norah lifted her cellphone, which, being the age she was, was naturally glued to her hand at all times, and began pressing buttons.

  “Norah, wait,” Lorraine said, unsure if she should have Norah call her older brother.

  “You said he needed to hear this, right?” Norah’s eyes were already spilling tears.

  Lorraine nodded. “Yeah,” she mumbled.

  “What happened to Brick?” Carter asked.

  Not just Brick, little brother. “Um, well—” but she heard Noah answer his phone.

  “Hey, little sis, what’s up?” Norah’s phone was set so loudly that Lorraine could hear him loud and clear.

  A few sniffles later, Norah so quietly said, “Noah? Rainy said something happened to Daddy.”

  “What happened to Dad?” he shouted, so completely unlike his soft-spoken sister.

  “I don’t know, she was just about—”

  “Put her on the phone, Nor.”

  Norah held her hand out as Lorraine pulled the phone from her hand.

  “Hi, Noah.” Lorraine was shaky, because one, she had to deliver the news, two, Noah was intimidating, and three, she’d only met the guy once.

  “What happened?”

  “May I put you on speaker phone?” Give her courage give her courage give her courage.

  “Yeah, whatever, just tell me what the hell happened?”

  Lorraine put Noah on speaker and laid the phone on the coffee table. She took a deep breath, grabbed her siblings’ hands, then blurted, “My mom and your dad were killed in a car accident tonight.”

  “Oh my God,” one or all of them said. “Oh my God,” she heard again. “Lorraine,” Noah said slowly, calmly. “Please take me off speaker.”

  Carter and Noah were in shock, their hands covering their mouths, their other hands gripping Lorraine’s hands until her hands hurt. “In a minute, Noah, I’m comforting Norah and Carter.” More like they were comforting her.

  “Off speaker. Now.”

  She didn’t know why, but she obeyed and picked up the phone. “You’re off.”

  “What the hell kind of thing is that to say in front of my sister?”

  “I—” Lorraine got up and crossed the room.

  “You should have called me first so I could have told her. You had no right—”

  “I had no right, what? Telling my sister that her father died? She—”

  “She is my sister, not yours. And this is something she should have heard from me, not from some teenager she barely knows.”

  “I’m not some kid she knows from school. I share a toilet with her. And if you’re so concerned about her, you should be speaking with her right now. Consoling her; not arguing with me. Or, you could hang up and let me console the two of them. God.” Lorraine hung up and went back to her siblings. She took her place between the two stunned preteens, and tossed the phone back on the table.

  Norah was sobbing, while Carter was trying not to. “Mimi is flying in to stay with us.” She didn’t know how to begin making this better, so she took their hands again. Carter yanked away from her and went upstairs. Lorraine wanted to follow him, she did, but Norah was sitting here crying. She needed to split herself in two, but had no idea how to do that.

  Norah’s phone rang, and on her screen, Lorraine saw the name Noah flashing in white. “Noah?” Norah answered, but this time, Norah got up and walked away. Lorraine heard a lot of “yeahs” and “okays” and then she heard Norah rattling off Lorraine’s cell phone number. Oh dear God, she had to talk to him again?

  Just as Norah hung up and said, “My brother’s gonna call you,” Lorraine’s cell rang.

  “Yeah?” she answered unwillingly.

  “Tell me what happened?”

  Trying to fight her emotions, she told him what she knew. Her mother and Brick were coming home from their Valentine’s Day anniversary dinner and slid right into or underneath, she couldn’t remember, a semi-tractor-trailer truck on Route Eighty. They’d died on impact. Lorraine really tried to keep from crying, Lord knew she didn’t want to cry while talking to Noah, but her emotions took over and made a weeping idiot of her. “I guess I bett
er come up,” he said. Ya think?

  After she finished with Noah, Lorraine went up to check on Carter. His door was locked and his music was on. “Carter, let me in, please,” she pleaded.

  “Leave me alone, Rain. I just...I need to be alone right now, ‘kay?” He didn’t sound like he was crying, just sad.

  “Will you talk to me in the morning?”

  “Yeah.”

  She left him and went back down to see Norah. “You okay, Nor?”

  Norah was still sitting on the couch. Still crying. “What are we gonna do, Rainy? What’s gonna happen to us?”

  Lorraine hadn’t even thought about that. What were they going to do? “Well, my gram is coming up as soon as she can. She’ll know what to do.”

  “Noah said he’s coming up to see me, but when I asked him what was gonna happen to us, he said he hadn’t had time to think about that yet.”

  “It’s true. We have to just get through tomorrow first.” Lorraine was dreading tomorrow. Right now, she could fool herself into thinking it was all just a bad dream, or a big, nasty mistake. Once she identified the bodies, saw for herself that it was real, she didn’t know what was going to come next. How could she look at her dead mother anyway? And what if it wasn’t even her? Maybe the whole thing was just a huge mistake. Maybe the officer got the wrong information. Maybe, just maybe—

  CHAPTER TWO

  Lorraine woke up with Norah sprawled out across her lap. Norah had cried herself to sleep in Lorraine’s arms, and only after she knew she couldn’t be heard, did Lorraine let herself cry again. She knew it was going to hit her soon that her mother died, but right then, she was crying because she was scared of how she should act in front of Carter and Norah. Did she have to be strong? Did she have to act like everything was going to be all right, even though she had no idea how it could be? Was it okay if she let them know she was more scared than she ever was in her life? Even more scared than when she was six and she watched her father drop dead on the floor in front of her. Daddy wake up; stop teasing me. Daddy. Wake up. Why won’t Daddy wake up? What’s a brain aneurysm, Mommy?